INFORMATION & ADVICE

What is Abuse?

Abuse is defined as any action that intentionally harms or injures another person.

The facts:

  •  One in every four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime

  •  An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year

  •  85% of domestic violence victims are women

  •  Historically, females have been often victimised by someone they knew

  •  Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the great risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence

  •  Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.

Types of Abuse

Mental and Emotional Abuse

Mental and emotional abuse includes constantly putting someone down, name calling, ignoring and playing mind games, saying they are mad or making them do something in an exact way. 

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse includes acts like hitting, punching, scratching, biting, scalding, hair pulling and more. 

Financial Abuse

Financial abuse includes acts like preventing someone from getting or keeping a job, denying them sufficient housekeeping or having to account for every penny spent.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse includes forcing someone into sexual activities against their will, using objects violently during sex, forcing someone to have sex with another person when they do not wish to.

 

Sibling Abuse/Incest

The physical, psychological or sexual abuse of one sibling on another, more often an older sibling on younger Sibling it also includes Sibling relational abuse which includes, bullying and when one sibling consistently intimidates, terrorises or controls another. This is very common in dysfunctional families where parents fail to set boundaries or discipline abusive children.

Neglect and Non-Affirmation of a Child

The ongoing failure to meet a child’s needs, physically, mentally and emotionally. The non- affirmed child grows up to believe they are unlovable which creates problems in later life. Problems forming healthy relationships.

AM I BEING ABUSED?

Our relationships and families should provide us with the things we all need: like love, being cared for, support and safety. But sometimes this is not our experience…

Does your partner, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your friend, your carer, or a family member:

  •  Make you feel uncomfortable or afraid?

  •   Often put you down, humiliate you, or make you feel worthless?

  •   Constantly check up on what you’re doing or where you are going?

  •   Try to stop you from seeing your own friends or family?

  •   Make you feel afraid to disagree or say ‘no’ to them?

  •   Constantly accuse you of flirting with others when this isn’t true?

  •   Tell you how the household finances should be spent, or stop you having any money for yourself?

  •   Stop you from having medical assistance?

  •   Scare or hurt you by being violent (like hitting, choking, smashing things, locking you in, driving dangerously to frighten you)

  •   Pressure or force you to do sexual things that you don’t want to do?

  •   Threaten to hurt you, or to kill themselves if you say you want to end the relationship?

  •   Have your children heard or seen these things or been hurt themselves?

 

If you have answered ‘yes’ to any of these, then there are signs that you are not being treated right, or that you are being abused. If you don’t feel safe, respected and cared for, then something isn’t right.

 

  • Abuse happens when one person tries to control or hurt another.

  • Abuse may be physical, such as hitting, pushing or choking.

  • Abuse can also be other things, like putting you down and making you feel worthless, or being possessive and jealous to stop you from speaking to friends or family. Forcing or tricking someone into doing sexual things is also abuse.

EFFECTS OF  ABUSE

  • PTSD 

  • Intrusive Thoughts

  • Viewing Sex as An Obligation

  • Seeing Sex as a means to Exert Power

  • Confusing Sex and Love

  • Rigid Boundaries or Lack of Boundaries

  • Difficulty Forming Close Relationships

  • Trust Issues/Intimacy Issues

  • Sexual Relationship Dysfunctions

  • Difficulty with Authority Figures

  • Vague or No Recollection of Early Years or Periods

  • Psychosomatic Symptoms Including Long Term Ailments

  • Guilt and Shame

  • Anger

  • Fear

  • Anxiety

  • Self-Loathing

  • Confusion Around Sexuality

  • Appeasing (Needing to Be Loved)

  • Flashbacks

THE EFFECTS OF ABUSE CAN LAST A LIFETIME, LET US HELP YOU.

"YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR ABUSE"

CLEAN SLATE

office@cleanslate.org.uk

01869 232461

572 Brice Rd, Upper Heyford, Bicester, Oxon, OX25 5TE, UK

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